1. If your resume lists your top 50 favourite recipes, you might need a professional resume writer.

2. If you list cleaning your desk drawer as one of the accomplishments on your last job, you might need a professional resume writer.

3. If your “career goal” is to meet your future spouse on the job, you might need a professional resume writer.

4. If you list as one of your qualities that you are biodegradable, you might need a professional resume writer.

5. If “praying” is what you say you learned from your previous position, you might need a professional resume writer.

6. If your “proudest achievement” is winning the distance-peeing contest in grade four, you might need a professional resume writer.

7. If you type in all caps because it looks more important, you might need a professional resume writer.

8. If you list “collecting free samples” as your top hobby, you might need a professional resume writer.

9. If you list ‘the dictionary’ and ‘A Guide to Herbal Remedies’ under “references”, you might need a professional resume writer.

10. If you include the stint inside the Little League mascot costume among your positions, you might need a professional resume writer.

11. If your “objective” is to ‘find a job’, you might need a professional resume writer.

12. If your last employer was “My Mom”, you might need a professional resume writer.

13. If you use emoticons on your resume, you might need a professional resume writer. ;-)

14. If your “education” begins with kindergarten, you might need a professional resume writer.

15. If your “volunteer work” includes community service, you might need a professional resume writer.

16. If “u rite yer resume lik” this “oR LiKe tHiS”, you might need a professional resume writer.

17. If your idea of a professional resume is one hand written in ink instead of crayon, you might need a professional resume writer.

18. If you list ‘applying for jobs’ as one of your “hobbies”, you may need a professional resume writer.

19. If your skills include such things as armpit farting and belching the alphabet, you may need a professional resume writer.

20. If you end your resume with a doodle of a unicorn, you may need a professional resume writer.