Friday, 29. June 2012
Writing the perfect resume can be a stressful endeavour, especially when you really want the position you are applying for. Many people feel that they may lack the essential skills or education that the job requires and feel pressured into exaggerating their resumes to the point of out-right lying.
This is a sure-fire way to get you fired, or in case of Yahoo Inc’s ex CEO Scott Thompson, force you to hand in your resignation.
If you are feeling the pressure, a professional resume writer can help craft the perfect resume for you using the skills and education you actually posses. There is no need to lie to get a job, because as the old adage goes, Cheater’s never prosper. It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, but eventually you will be found out.
However, if you don’t really want the job to begin with, these examples are the perfect addition to a resume that won’t get you the job, or even the interview:
1) List All The Jobs That You Have Ever Had
Sure, you’re applying for the IT position at a big fortune 500 company but that doesn’t mean the hiring manager won’t be interested in reading about your paperboy gig you had when you were 10 year old. Might as well put in that stint you did at McDonald’s when you were in highschool too.
2) List Your Faith
Most places it is illegal for a company to demand such things as race, creed, religion and martial status on the application. It’s certainly illegal for them to discriminate based on those factors, but this doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. So if you don’t really want the job anyway list how much of a devote follower you are to your religion on your resume.
3) Attach A(n) (unflattering) Picture To Your Resume
This is a great way to not be considered for the interview, especially if you are an older applicant applying for a typically younger position. Employers can’t discriminate based on age, but it still happens. Don’t really want the job anyway, give them a good enough reason and attach one of those embarrassing Facebook party pictures of yourself. You know the one, where you’re half naked drunkenly dancing on the table.
4) Ad Speling Misteaks
Profreed your resume and ad in as many speling misteaks as possible. Not too many though, you want it to look authentic.
5) Use A Generic Resume Template
Applying for multiple positions in varying fields? Why not use the same generic resume for each one? No need to customize the resume for each application, and certainly don’t bother reading the job description. Just use the one-size-fits-all resume and you’ll do fine… at not getting the job.
These are five great examples of what to include on your resume if you don’t really want the job anyway. However, if you really are looking to land a job, check out our Top 10 HR Secrets That Will Help You To Get Hired post.